We'll Never Know
by KayBayBay
Summary: Tony didn't want to go to autopsy - he knew what was there. Just an angsty TIVA one shot. MAJOR character death. Please read and review, I suck at summaries. Rated T just to be safe.


**This is a quick one-shot I got the idea for about two hours ago and just wouldn't leave me until I wrote it. It takes place a little more than three years after **_**"Aliyah". **_**Warning, major character death!**

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo sat as his desk solemnly, with his head in his hands, on the verge of tears. Today had been a very hard day for him and the rest of the team. The day had started out normal; he and his secret girlfriend of three years, Officer Ziva David, headed into work together. However, when they arrived, they discovered that their fellow agent, Timothy McGee, had been taken hostage by a suspect. The team, including Special Agent L.J. Gibbs, went to the suspect's house to save McGee.

------

_Flashback_

"_Clear" Ziva yelled as she walked through the kitchen. Tony shouted "Clear" in response as he made his way from the back door._

"_On my mark, make it down to the basement," Gibbs said as they surrounded the door leading to the cellar. _

_Tony turned to Ziva when Gibbs was looking the other way. "Be careful," he whispered._

"_You too," she mouthed back. "I love you."_

"_I love you too," he mouthed. _

_On Gibbs' mark, Tony kicked in the basement door, and the three agents rushed into the basement. When they were down the stairs, they saw McGee tied to a chair, with tape over his mouth. Gibbs rushed over to him, peeling the tape off of his mouth. _

_McGee took a few deep breaths before talking. "He left a few minutes ago. He said he would be back soon." As if waiting for the cue, their suspect, Michael Adams, walked into the basement through another door._

"_Ah, Special Agent Gibbs. I was wondering when you would show up," he said menacingly. He had a gun in his hand, but he wasn't pointing it at anybody yet. _

"_Michael, let's not be irrational about this. Why don't you just put the gun down, and we can talk about this calmly," Gibbs said, trying to quiet Adams. All three agents had their guns pointed directly at Adams, while McGee was still tied to the chair. _

"_No. You put your guns down and leave. All I want is Agent McGee here. He is the one who proved it was me, isn't he?" McGee had traced the IP address from the e-mail threatening their petty officer to Adams' computer._

"_You know we can't do that Michael."_

"_You don't leave, and I'll shoot the girl." He trained his gun on Ziva. Tony's grip on his weapon tightened automatically._

"_Don't you dare," Tony hissed through clenched teeth._

"_Tony I am fine. I can handle myself," Ziva said, her eyes not leaving Adams'. "Michael, please put the gun down. We can talk about it, and I am sure we can work something out with Agent McGee."_

"_No," he said, his voice and hands shaking from nervousness. "You're just saying that. You're just gonna arrest me."_

"_No, we are not. We are going..." Ziva started, but was cut off by a gunshot. Seconds later, she fell to the ground, clutching the left side of her chest, in a spot not protected by her vest._

"_Ziva!" Tony gasped, running over to her. He barely registered the second gunshot, causing Adams falling to the floor with a hole in his forehead, and Gibbs calling 911 while untying McGee. "Ziva, come on, you can do this. You can't give up babe, come on."_

"_Tony," she managed to gasp, coughing up blood. "I...love...you."_

"_I love you too. Don't leave me Ziva. Please don't leave." He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes._

"_I...sorry..." she wheezed, and then let the darkness overtake her._

------

Tony couldn't believe that his girlfriend of three years, who he loved more than anything, was actually gone. They had done all they could, but nothing could be done to save her. She had survived so much – being blown up in Morocco, her undercover assignment with Andy Hoffman, and being held captive in Somalia for two months three years ago. He never thought that a single bullet could end her life.

He was broken out of his trance when his desk phone rang. "What?" he barked angrily into the receiver.

It was Ducky. "Anthony. I need you down it autopsy please, as soon as possible."

"Yeah. I'll be right down," he spat harshly into the phone. He didn't want to go down to autopsy, because he knew what would be there.

"I'm here Ducky," he said as he got off the elevator at autopsy. When he arrived, he saw that Gibbs, McGee, and Palmer were down there also.

"My dear boy, I am so sorry," Ducky said, trying to comfort him.

"Whatever. Can we get to the point?" Tony wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

Ducky was taken aback slightly, but understood Tony's distress. However, it was still a secret that Tony and Ziva had been dating, even though she had died more than ten hours ago. "While I was doing the preliminary skin examination on our Ziva, I noticed she had a marking, most likely a tattoo that I was not aware of. I was wondering if you could explain what it was."

Ducky pulled back the blanket, revealing Ziva to them. She looked like she was peacefully sleeping, except for the bullet hole in her chest, right above her heart. He shifted her body slightly, so Ziva's back was exposed. On her left shoulder blade, there was a tattoo of a white lily, with the word "Tony," in black script written under it. There was also Hebrew script written, which he knew meant "I love you forever."

"Well, Ducky, it's pretty obvious that it's a flower with my name," Tony said sarcastically.

"Damn it DiNozzo, why did Ziva have a tattoo dedicated to you? And I know that script means 'I love you.'" Gibbs barked. He did not like finding out his agents were dating because one of them was dead.

"Because she did love me! And I love her too! We've been dating for three years!" Tony shouted, startling Palmer, who had been working on a report. "I have the matching one right here," he continued yelling, rolling up his sleeve. On the inside of his forearm was a matching white lily, except his had "Ziva" written in script, along with _"Ti amo per sempre,"_ Italian for "I love you forever." "We got these a year ago, on our two year anniversary. We got white lilies because those were the flowers I gave to her in the hospital. I knew they were her favorite."

"You were breaking rule twelve for three years? Damn it, I thought you two were smarter than that," Gibbs sighed.

"Does it matter anymore? You can't yell at her about it!" Tony continued shouting. "We hid it from you for three years, and we never had any problems. We've even been living together for two! We hid it for three years, and it took one of use dying for you to find out! You had to find her tattoo doing the goddamn autopsy to find out! You know what else you'll find out when you do the autopsy? That she was pregnant!" McGee, Palmer, and Ducky gasped, while Gibbs stared in shock. "Yeah, she was pregnant. About three months along. We had actually planned on telling you all soon, because it was gonna be pretty hard to hide, but I guess that doesn't matter anymore. Maybe if we had told you, she wouldn't have gone out in the field and gotten shot. But no, I told her to wait to tell everyone." His voice had finally softened, as he sank to the ground, tears threatening to spill once again. "Oh God, it's all my fault," he whispered.

"Tony, this isn't your fault," Gibbs said as he slid down next to Tony, putting an arm around his shoulder.

"I was going to marry her, Gibbs. I was gonna ask her on Sunday, when we went out." The tears that had been brimming had finally fallen, but Tony didn't care. Gibbs continued rubbing his back. "You know what you find out through the autopsy though? She doesn't want her body sent back to Tel Aviv to have some nameless Mossad examiner preform it, with some rabbi she doesn't know there. She hasn't had anything to do with Mossad or her father for three years, since he sent her on that suicide mission. He doesn't even know that she's dead. She wants Ducky to preform the autopsy, even though he isn't Jewish. And she wants the rabbi from the temple she goes to every week to watch over it. She may not have been the most Orthodox Jew, but she was still devout. She went to temple every week, and tried her hardest to keep Sabbath, even though it was hard with the crazy hours we worked. Even before we dated, I brought her to work on Fridays and Saturdays, so she wouldn't have to drive on _Shabbat._ She tried her hardest to keep kosher, but it's hard to find good kosher food in D.C., she said." He paused for a moment, chocking on the sobs that wrecked through his body.

"Tony," Gibbs said, trying to calm him down.

"No, I'm not done yet," he snapped back. "You won't find out that her favorite color's green, or that she hates thunder, because it reminds her of bombs going off. Or that she would always sleep in my old Ohio State shirt, because it was more comfortable than her shirts and it smelled like me. Or that she will never forgive herself for letting her younger sister Tali die, or killing Ari. She still has nightmares about that, seven years after the fact. If we had a girl, we were gonna name her Talisa Caitlin, or if it was a boy, Anthony Todd Talmai."

He took another moment to collect himself, breathing hard. "We always wondered what our child would be like. Would she be a tough girl, like her mom, or would he be a jock, like his dad." He continued to cry, not caring what anyone thought about him at the moment. "I guess we'll never know now."

**Yes, that was pretty angsty, different for me, but the idea would not leave me no matter what, so I had to write it. I am currently working on another, long chapter story. I have an idea where I'm going, I just don't know how long it's gonna be. I needed to get this out of my head to get rid of my writer's block.**

**Thanks for reading, please review (:**


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